Fits of strangeness continue--emotional weather squally to storm-tossed. But when the sun shines through the rain, the views are wonderful. And good things are coming to me by the day. L. nurtures and guides me despite my peculiarity, and the occasional tantrum I throw her way: without her I never would have been able to understand what is really happening to me, nor see the way out of the labyrinth up to the stars. C., despite his superior sexual magnetism, is the twin I never had. My daughter texts me every other day, and last night out of the blue I heard from someone else, a woman I used to work with but haven't seen since she left the job, a beautiful brilliant girl with a degree who worked under me for a while and with whom I used to have good meaty conversations--I didn't expect to hear from her again, but there she was texting me in the middle of the night telling me about her new job. We are going for a coffee in a couple of weeks. And you would have to know my whole sordid history to know how much it delights me when I get an email or an S.P. comment from a member of the Hodder clan.
From living in a people-less vaccuum I am now in the wonderful situation of having good friendly contact with a growing number of people. Which makes my occasional feeling of bottomless loneliness all the harder to fathom, but there you go. There are other reasons why that feeling may come to bite my arse so often, and they are being dealt with. I got a crucifix hanging from my ceiling that says the soul-gnawing lonesome blues aren't going to beat this boy.