It disappoints me when I am crazy. I always think I should be in control of my feelings.
I definitely don't want to expose them to anyone else. From the safety of the keyboard it is fine. In person it is too much of a risk. Every woman I show my need to becomes automatically superior, condescending. Perhaps it is the degree of my need, but when I show it I become a leper in her eyes.
It is better to walk through the world in disguise, wearing a mask of capability and emotional resilience. Then you will earn respect from people who believe that what they want is the truth.