Showing posts from January, 2011

A Poem, O Swami Shivananda, A Poem!

I wrote a poem this morning. That might not be startling news, or even interesting news, but to me it's quite significant. I haven't been able to write poetry consistently - or well - for a long time now, and once I was pretty good at it. Got published as often as I was given the bum's rush by the little magazines I submitted to. Even made it into two proper books.

And then life got in the way. Too many rejections all at once knocked my confidence (never as deeply embedded as it appears). I was working long hours in a job I hated too, and the worse my situation got there, the more it drained the vitality out of me. I lost the ability to imagine, to conceive of new worlds, which is what a poet has to do, I think, to write interesting stuff. Not that you have to write about interplanetary travel or anything. But if you can't abstract yourself from everyday experience and play mental games with your role in the world - if you can't see yourself, as crazy as it sounds, …

Bard Writhing Half-Dead on December Floors

Yesterday was the first time I felt ill for four months. My head hurt and I had occasional eerie moments in my perceptions all day. Then last night I was sitting in the dark at my house watching tv and I felt the full delightful epileptic experience coming on. It's a tough one even for a writer to describe but it's something like feeling your consciousness float half way out of your body; every time it happens you know you're going to hit the floor.

Ever the practical man, I took my glasses off and somehow walked up the stairs, got into bed. I woke up three hours later (I subsequently discovered), with all of the sheets on the floor, desperate to go to the toilet but with no memory of where I was or how to get out of there to the loo. And when I found the door handle to take me out of the bedroom my hand wouldn't tighten around the door handle; my muscles had stopped working.

I went and laid down again, went back to sleep for a few minutes. An awareness of what had happe…

New Year's Resolutions

I don't know if you make New Year's Resolutions on serious blogs. I don't know if this is a serious blog. I don't know what it is other than the occasional ramblings of a writer/editor in the Underground literary game. And today I have decided - possibly for the first time - on some Resolutions. So here we go.

1) I will complete (start) the second draft of my novel Penny's Farm.

2) I will write more poetry.

3) I will meditate every day.

4) I will lose some weight (I know, what a horrible cliche).

We will see, Bridget Jones style, how they are progressing, as the year unfolds. If, that is, the epilepsy doesn't throw my unexpectedly down my stairs and break my neck. Or I don't end up homeless. Ever the optimist, you see.