Sunday, September 24, 2006

Depression Is The Mark Of A Coward--And Who Knows Better Than Me?

Courting controversy In all sufferers from depression there is strong evidence of anger. What at? Everything. A world that just doesn't love you enough. It's anger in an introverted form. Depression is the coward's rage. Even the word "suffer" has overtones of self-pity.

Post-existentialist twentieth century culture validated depression as intellectually serious. As evidence of insight into the absurdity of human existence. You're born to die. Making the most of it was for people who couldn't see into the depths because of limited intellect. Oh, f*ck off.

I have no right to be angry at anyone. I make my own mistakes. People didn't always do what I wanted them to, but since when was that their duty? Who died and left me prince of the world?

My "depression" won't go away because I cling onto it like a scared child who won't leave his mother. What do I see with my greatly enhanced vision? What insights come to this philosophical genius when he looks into the darkness? Nothing. But people can't tackle me as their equal in life because I have disconnected myself from the process.

Coward. Coward. Arrogant coward. How about taking on a real challenge--to swallow your infantile anger and look the world in the eye? To develop an emotional response to the world that requires resilience and doesn't come as naturally as beard hair in the morning?

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