My social life has contracted dramatically since I fell out with my Christian friend. I don't see her anymore, obviously--I wouldn't want to-- but there's a distinctly Arctic chill whistling in from the regions where she and I forged our unlikely friendship too, among those who only days before were promising their loyalty forever. Two people she and I both know have cut me altogether. You'd think that we were all ten years old.
Oddly though, I'm not that concerned. I can't change any of it, so why worry? After descending further and further into craziness this summer--and particularly while I was hanging around with her-- I have bottomed out, come back to myself: I walked up the hill to my house carrying my shopping after work and I thought I won't be seeing anybody tonight. Great, I can sleep and catch up on my reading. A few weeks ago the idea of being on my own for several hours would have been deeply worrying to me.
Which doesn't mean I have recanted on my theory that the connections we make with other people are signally important. They are. But I have been working hard the last few days and I am seeing C. tomorrow. So why feel the need to fill tonight up with distractions? What would I be running away from?
I think we know the answer.
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