I saw this note tucked under a car's windscreen wiper just down the road from me this morning as I walked down the hill to the supermarket:
THANKS FOR PARKING SO CLOSE. NEXT TIME LEAVE A FUCKING TIN OPENER SO I CAN GET MY CAR OUT.
Brilliant. Except the car was completely on its own on the hillside, sharing space only with loads of sheets of newspaper blowing around on the grass and into the empty road.
NB I don't think I'll be asterisking swear words anymore. Either I will use them, or I won't. The idea was to stop kids from happening on words they shouldn't see, but very few children would be foxed by the machiavellian substitution of an asterisk between the 'f' and the 'ck' in 'fuck'. And as I recall, I knew all those words by the time I was 5 or 6 years old. I also knew there were places where it was okay to say them, and other places where you might earn a smack for the same. Children aren't as stupid as they look, you know.