"Elvis Loses His Excess"

I'm experiencing strange sensations of late. I'm trying to get rid of my bulging belly so I can return to being the svelte and gorgeous love god I used to be; and part of my Bruce reduction campaign involves changing my diet. My mid-life crisis has officially begun!
The first things that have had to go are the chocolate and the doughnuts. Oh, and the ready meals (I don't like to cook). I understand that ready meals are packed full of salt (or something). Hmm. I've also had to concede that it may not do my waistline any good to eat seven to eleven rounds of bread a day. My friend, who's a cook, reckons four a day might be sufficient.
My God! Suddenly I'm buying rice cakes, eating vegetables of all things, and refraining from filling my face until meal times. Radical. And I have this pleasantly confused, slightly swimmy feeling in my head all the time because I'm not stuffed to the point of being semi-comatose.
It's like living inside an edgy but weirdly stimulating dream.

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