PISSY MANIFESTO

I write only what I like. Whatever passes through my head when I sit down to write. I don't think about what's new or old, hip or unhip, 'me' or 'not me' (since there's no 'me' anyway--ask Buddha).Writing isn't entertainment, as far as I'm concerned, it's personal confession to the moon, 'one man's fist raised against the lightning clouds,' it's 'they'll shit on you anyway, so have your say first,' it's the pyrrhic victory of the utterly defeated, it's CRAFT, kiddies, contesting with yourself to wring the most music and harmony (even if it's a harmony of ugliness), from whatever lines have welled up in your brain. I write because I have no choice; if I don't everything feels disconnected and rotten. I write because I'm in a contest with my own mediocrity to lay something down I can be halfway proud of.I write because, like Hemingway says, I want to find 'one true sentence' that will somehow ennoble me and make sense of this bleeding tragedy of life. My models in all this are John Coltrane playing with his back to the crowd at Ronnie Scott's and then leaving without saying a word, Bob Dylan responding to the accusing cry of 'Judas!' by exhorting his band to 'play fucking loud!' As a human being and as an artist I shift so rapidly from one pole to another all I tend to leave behind me is disappointment.Well, serves you right, if all you want is to see yourself reflected, buy a mirror. You are probably going to hate half of what you read on these pages. (bh)

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