Thursday, February 07, 2013

25 Things You Didn't Know About Me. Possibly.

I saw somebody else do this so in a spirit of pure plagiarism, and to take my mind off Hanif Kureishi for ten minutes, I'm now going to list 25 little-known facts about me. If I can think of 25. All of these, despite my reputation for being a smart arse, are 100% true.

1. I was once made captain of my primary school football team. The other ten players promptly went on strike.

2. I wrote my first novel when I was ten, a 33 page revenge western called "Blood Lust".

3. I had a crush on my first teacher Mrs Bevan.

4. I once almost choked on bacon and had to pull it up out of my own throat to survive.

5. At primary school three girls asked to see my "winkie" and when I showed them I got in trouble.

6. I am actually very shy.

7. I once tried to learn Russian so I could read Dostoyevsky in the original. I could only ever remember the word for "fox".

8. I feel sick when I smell beetroot.

9. I once saw a ghost.

10. I have never taken any illegal drug other than marijuana, but mainly because I'm too scared and too cheap.

11. In my twenties I had a pierced ear. I let it grow out when it went crusty.

12. When I was 18 I bought a Wham! record.

13. I once had driving lessons, but I gave up when the instructor shouted at me.

14. I cry frequently. The provocation is usually music.

15. I feel there is something nightmarish about the silent tapping of computers in an I.T. room or an internet cafe.

16. I have a guitar and a flute but I can't play either.

17. I once bought weed from someone who delivered it to your door. He called his business "Deals on Wheels".

18. My greatest fear when I was younger was that I'd go bald in middle age.

19. Once I had an ear infection so bad my ear bled.

20. I first heard my favourite song "Freebird" when I was awake all night with food poisoning.

21. I am not allowed to go near the china at home because I am so clumsy I will definitely break it.

22. I have forgotten what meat tastes like.

23. I nearly drowned once in the shallow end of the swimming pool.

24. I let my neighbour in Earls Barton call me "Graham" for two years because I was too polite to correct his first mistake.

25. I don't talk about my problems because I have a horror of sounding self-indulgent. Although I am.


ninest123 said...

louis vuitton, christian louboutin outlet, ugg boots, prada outlet, longchamp outlet, kate spade outlet, nike free, nike air max, oakley sunglasses, ralph lauren pas cher, burberry, longchamp outlet, nike outlet, oakley sunglasses, michael kors, louis vuitton outlet, ray ban sunglasses, louboutin, louis vuitton, ugg boots, louboutin shoes, oakley sunglasses, replica watches, sac longchamp, louboutin outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, uggs on sale, cheap oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, replica watches, longchamp pas cher, ray ban sunglasses, tiffany and co, polo ralph lauren outlet, tiffany jewelry, longchamp, air jordan pas cher, tory burch outlet, jordan shoes, nike roshe run, gucci outlet, chanel handbags, air max, louboutin pas cher, prada handbags, nike air max, ray ban sunglasses, nike free, louis vuitton, oakley sunglasses

ninest123 said...

north face, true religion jeans, tn pas cher, oakley pas cher, michael kors, coach outlet, ralph lauren uk, michael kors, vanessa bruno, hollister, nike air max, true religion outlet, hermes, michael kors, coach purses, kate spade handbags, michael kors, michael kors outlet, nike air max, nike blazer, true religion jeans, converse pas cher, replica handbags, michael kors outlet, hogan, ugg boots, coach outlet, air force, mulberry, michael kors outlet, true religion jeans, burberry outlet online, new balance pas cher, ugg boots, north face, ray ban pas cher, hollister pas cher, burberry, michael kors outlet, nike roshe, ray ban uk, nike free run uk, sac guess, michael kors outlet, lacoste pas cher, vans pas cher, timberland, nike air max, abercrombie and fitch, lululemon

ninest123 said...

babyliss, insanity workout, mac cosmetics, hollister, converse outlet, hollister, valentino shoes, giuseppe zanotti, louboutin, reebok shoes, nike roshe, beats by dre, gucci, new balance, bottega veneta, nike air max, longchamp, soccer jerseys, north face outlet, ghd, nike trainers, chi flat iron, celine handbags, asics running shoes, jimmy choo shoes, nike huarache, lululemon, nike air max, ferragamo shoes, vans, wedding dresses, birkin bag, mcm handbags, mont blanc, abercrombie and fitch, baseball bats, instyler, ray ban, converse, oakley, p90x workout, timberland boots, iphone cases, north face outlet, hollister, herve leger, soccer shoes, nfl jerseys, vans shoes, ralph lauren

ninest123 said...

ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, supra shoes, barbour, pandora charms, montre pas cher, moncler, canada goose, canada goose outlet, lancel, louis vuitton, sac louis vuitton pas cher, moncler, pandora charms, swarovski crystal, wedding dresses, ugg boots uk, pandora jewelry, replica watches, moncler, canada goose uk, juicy couture outlet, coach outlet, links of london, canada goose, canada goose outlet, doudoune canada goose, canada goose, barbour jackets, bottes ugg, swarovski, moncler outlet, marc jacobs, moncler, louis vuitton, canada goose, hollister, toms shoes, moncler, ugg pas cher, moncler, karen millen, louis vuitton, pandora jewelry, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, moncler, louis vuitton, juicy couture outlet, thomas sabo