Saturday, June 06, 2009

Beyonce, Shut It

If there is one thing more spiritually and intellectually empty than "Britain's Got Talent" it's the music of Beyonce Knowles.

"All the honeyzz makin money show your independence!" (I presume she would spell it with a "z", since the "s" is so passe these days. Like spelling generally.)

yaaawwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

And that if he really likes your finger, put a ring on it business. It's like the 80s never ended and we're really all caught in one horrific eternal episode of "Miami Vice" or "The Cosby Show".

Why don't you show your independence by thinking something that wasn't thought for you, first, by a vapid but beautifully dressed hack in a woman's glossy.

Read a book, Beyonce, if you have to take something to the lavatory with you.

(This unusual--for me--train of thought has been provoked by sitting in an internet cafe for the last half an hour listening to one after another soul-annihilatingly boring Beyonce song being played to hypnotise the minds of customers into staying for another skinny latte.)

2 comments:

All This Trouble... said...

Ah, Beyonce....

There is no escaping, my friend.
None.

*Note: When I was in labor with my second, the TV was on VH1 and it was a U2 marathon. We must've heard 'Vertigo' a million times. It still makes my pelvis ache every time I hear it.

Fred Abbey said...

God,the baby probably came out to turn off the TV!