My Hell

Hell for me would not be some fiery chasm where tormented souls fornicated forever while howling like insane monkeys. For me it would be more like a well-polished antiseptically clean house where everything is in its place and fresh flowers burst from strategically positioned vases. And its Dark Lord would be a young man or woman in fresh clothes that boast sporting motifs and smell of fabric conditioner. Someone who spouts homilies that recommend the cheerful life and considers all impulses to drink, take drugs, have strange sex or kill yourself incomprehensible and morally abhorrent. An Eternity of that would be the worst punishment anybody could inflict on me.