Silly Accident #2

There's a line in "Howl" about throwing your watch away to cast your ballot for eternity and then having alarm clocks fall on your head every day. This is my life at the moment. I made fun of Ruth a while ago for being accident prone and since then I have had two accidents so ridiculous they wouldn't have been out of place in a Laurel & Hardy film. So either I am being punished for mocking her or my brain tumour is beginning to make itself felt.

Last time, as regular readers know, I fell down the stairs in a Northampton bar (and I wasn't drinking, wiseass.) Today, I was picking something up behind a mechanical gate as it opened and stepping aside quickly so as not to get pinned between the gate and the wall, I fell over, catching my leg on an outjutting piece of gate iron, ripping my trousers and doing something queasily unpleasant to my knee as I sprawled to the ground. And twenty feet away there was a beautiful woman watching--just the audience you don't want when you're making yourself look a spectacular idiot.

Can we now agree, God, that I have been punished enough for my mockery of Ruth? Or do you have something else in store for me? Will I crack my head open on the step when I go out in a while to post my friend's birthday card? Will a gas explosion disfigure me if I don't post the card and choose instead to stay indoors and keep safe? You must be fond of Ruth indeed.

Or are you getting back at me because of the general level of abuse I have heaped on those half-educated evangelical swine who are bringing your name into such disrepute with freethinkers everywhere?