Ah, yes, and it has certainly done that just lately. I get suspended from work for putting a joke on my Facebook page, and then I fall over again in town--outside Waterstone's, ironically--am taken to hospital, have a load of tests run including blood and ECG, and they conclude I've probably had a seizure. NOW I have to go to something with the rather ignominious name of a "First Fit Clinic" to have the diagnosis confirmed or denied.
But I'm pretty sure that's what it is. I have worked with epileptics for most of my adult life; I know the signs. And last night I had another one, while I was lying in bed. Woke up on the floor again with a headache, and blisters and flayed skin on my arms. As I have joked to friends a couple of times, I'm just glad I haven't wet myself. So far. The way things have been going I wouldn't take anything for granted (my humour is dark, I know, but in some circumstances it has to be).
People (not experts) have blamed the stress I've been under this past week for what's happened. They may have a point, though I've been having weird experiences akin to absences for years, on and off, and I've just never done anything about them. I wish I had now, but I was scared. I prefer to pretend things aren't happening until they go away--which of course they never do.
Well, I can't pretend this isn't happening; and that may be a good thing. I hope I get to the clinic soon and they give me some tablets to bring these episodes under control. I am reminded, as I look at the blisters on my arms, of Ballasteros the golfer, who fainted unaccountably and then was found to have a brain tumour. It could, of course, be that. And if it is, I think, with dark humour again, that my problems'll be over. But epilepsy is more likely.
And if that turns out to be the problem, I just have to get used to a life of people treating me like I'm sick.What joy. The consideration people have given me over the last few days has made me really uncomfortable, in a funny sort of way.
5 comments:
I like that. First Fit Clinic.
*sigh*
All the cool folks have seizures. Don't worry. I mean, really, don't worry. They'll fix you right up with an anti-convulsant and on the upside, they use those meds for mood stablilization and such here in the States. It could help the depressive episodes, too.
Pssssst...I've had a couple of seizures, too and so far, no brain tumor. I'll be thinking of you.
well, hopefully you've petite mall in the past and now the t-c (can't think of what the name is) has got you into the doc - my daughter has had epilepsy since she was 11 - all of her friends have been very understanding and depakote has kept it under control - she still doesn't play video games with flickering lights and she won't drive - these probably won't set anything off with her on meds - but she still is wary of them
and don't worry - we won't think of you any differently than before
on a more somber note - did you hear that Dave Church was found dead in his taxi on Thanksgiving day - last thursday - they think it was a heart attack - he was a year younger than i am - makes me stop and think -
take care
Tom,
No, I didn't hear the news about Dave Church. Jesus, what a poet he was...
Sudden death kind of puts all our other anxieties into perspective...
Yeah, ATT, if the tablets help with the depressive episodes things'll really be looking up. I hope I hear from them soon so I can get the diagnosis sorted out. In the meantime I'm just working on relaxing, eating as healthily as I can, and meditating regularly. Good housekeeping, as it were. I don't know if any of that will help, but it certainly can't hurt...
Going to a clinic named "First Fit Clinic" to have a diagnosis made seems rather odd. If it turns out that you haven't had a fit, then you haven't had a first one, so why are you there? The very name of the clinic is a very suppositious one. Or is it me being pedantic?
Simon H
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